Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize