HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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