I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
