apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize