Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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