it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
