im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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