Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
not ubering you a puppy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
