That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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