This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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