One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
