pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
