ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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