And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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