worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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