Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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