Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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