walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
