i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
