why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did i walk over a car last night?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
