There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
