trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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