You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize