i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
