I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
