: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
