So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
