so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
