yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
even my farts smell like vagina
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
