Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
