Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
