when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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