I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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