Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
