Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
