Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
