its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
