drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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