my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
