great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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