I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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