Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
