needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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