Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
