this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
