he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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