Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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