I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
