You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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