My sheets look like a crime scene.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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