His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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