Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
