i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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