porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
