I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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