I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is classic penis vs brain.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
