I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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