Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
